As I walked through the grocery store, people thought I was crazy. My two-year-old was in the front “car” part of the cart, his hand deep in a bag of crackers, and my baby was in the infant carrier. This alone might cause stares, but it was the conversation I was having with my baby that really turned heads. Crazy or not, I was giving her the understanding of language and communication patterns that form the foundation of speech and literacy.

Through my background as a reading teacher, coupled with my experience as an early intervention special instructor, I knew it was imperative that I talk to my baby – not “baby talk” as we have all used and heard, but rather real conversation. As we walked up and down the aisles, I would ask if she wanted prunes or peaches? Chicken or fish? Did we need dog food? And after each question, I would wait. Sometimes it seemed like minutes until she would garble some type of audible response. However, any response was worthy of verbal praise from me. She was a baby and she could not “talk,” but she could participate in an exchange of verbalizations that created something sounding like conversation.

Our conversations were not just limited to the supermarket. In the privacy of my home and car, I narrated everything we were doing – for example, where the bank was, what we were having for dinner, and what the weather was like. “Mommy is ordering pizza, does she want plain or pepperoni?” Every time, I would wait, giving her ample time to process the sounds of my voice and to study my facial expressions, which were verbally and nonverbally queuing her to respond. This allowed her to experience the natural rhythm of language. Commonly referred to as response time, this is something for which many new moms may not wait long enough.

As babies begin to communicate their needs beyond crying, response time becomes very important. They may want out of their high chair or crib, or they may be thirsty. And, as they grow, they learn that louder often gets better results. Their cries will change to whines or grunts. Now is the time to start asking your baby to tell you “out” or “please.” You could say: “Tell Mommy out” and wait, sometimes as long as 10 seconds. If you don’t get a response, ask the question a second time, and then wait again. Over time, your baby will answer you with an audible response, not a word, but merely a sound.

Talking to your baby is not initially about teaching words; it is about laying the foundation of language and the rhythms associated with conversation. Question, narrate and wait, and don’t worry about the stares from strangers. Your baby not only loves hearing your voice and seeing your changing expressions, but he or she will have a strong language foundation, enabling them to ask for toys sooner.

Stephanie Donio Cauller, B.Ed., is the school services coordinator at Theraplay Inc., which provides children’s therapy services.